once now eternity

Going Home

2007-08-16T02:04:00.001-07:00

I am going home.......
I must hurry home......
......

我知道

2007-05-04T17:52:00.000-07:00

不知道哪里是疲累的尽头
不知道有没有离开的时候
不知道为什么忙碌的追求为了什么理由
谁知道有什么成就会不朽
谁知道有什么爱情最温柔
谁知道拥有了这一切算不算梦寐以求
只知道不开心忍不住流泪
只知道不惬意免不了喝酒
不知道一个人这么样算不算无药可救
我知道迷茫的脆弱的烦恼的寂寞的压抑的感受谁都有
不知道是不是只有我痛苦的矛盾的独自承受
明知道放弃了才想保留
明知道过去了才要补救
我知道满足的快乐的完美的依恋的事情都难以长久
告诉我是不是每个人都看不透
谁能够

考试要到了

2007-05-03T03:35:00.000-07:00

发觉自己真的没有什么天分去维持部落格。时常都给自己借口，忙碌成为最最最无辜的理由啦！时常都会把忙碌挂在嘴边。
但是看看四周的朋友，多忙碌都会update自己的blog.
考试要到了，这次有六张试卷。但是却还是没有作战的心情。
这个学期真的很难，很讨厌！
嗯，五月，很多朋友生日。
我就来要投入作战状况（希望能够），所以到时候可能忘了给以祝福。
所以，我决定了，现在这里祝福所有在五月份生日的朋友（金牛和双子座），生日快乐，有maple, bubu(same day as lee hom mah!), ksiss, brian, kong hou, kuan yen, cincin, yen chuan, janice, jackson, kodori, my lovely mother...... 希望没有漏网之鱼！
就这样咯！

爱情有什么道理

2007-04-30T11:11:00.000-07:00

其实一个人的生活也不算太坏
偶尔有些小小的悲哀
我想别人也看不出来
即使孤单会使我伤怀
也会试着让自己想得开

对你不知道是已经习惯还是爱
当初所坚持的心情
是不是还依然存在
眼看这一季就要过去
我的春天还没有来

你为何不掉过头去
让我自己去面对问题
你尝试着不露痕迹
告诉我爱情的道理
你认为值得努力的
是我俩之间的距离
喔这一季(喔这一季)
总算有些值得回忆(值得回忆)

两个女孩

2007-04-28T12:16:00.000-07:00

莹的爱依偎著你的身体无私地将你包围等待著你在心理给一个角落
却猜不出你每天想念著谁你心理惦记著谁我想是吧就是那你叫她玲的女孩
玲多温驯美丽莹好可爱隐约觉得不安却说不出来你知道却绝口不提分开
你答的毫无意外两个都爱你滔滔不绝我却听不明白只知道你迟早两颗心都要伤害
两个女孩易感专情独立聪明冷静纤细竟然会那么爱你我无话可说
结局不出到最后谁安慰谁说不定谁怨恨谁快不要吧两个任谁都心疼的女孩
玲多温驯美丽莹好可爱隐约觉得不安却说不出来你知道却绝口不提分开
你答的像个无赖两个都爱你滔滔不绝只想置身事外到何时你才想说明白
玲多温驯美丽莹好可爱隐约觉得不安却说不出来你知道却绝口不提分开
你答的像个无赖两个都爱你滔滔不绝只想置身事外难道你不知道两颗心你都伤害

KAREN　MOK

想要拥有的东西，当然一定要努力争取，就算得不到，也死心塌地。不努力的话，永远都不可能得到了！有试不一定有，但是不试就一定没有。
有些东西，不只是要想自己，也要想想别人的。
很欣赏你不顾世俗眼光的勇敢，但是却遗憾你从来不从她的角度去想。

感动的故事----a touching story

2007-04-08T04:22:00.000-07:00

这是我从朋友部落格中看到的故事，希望在跟大家分享，并且翻译成英文让不会看中文的朋友看。这是真人真事。
i read this story in my friend's blog, and i would like to share this with everyone, especially transilate (honestly, it is a bad transilation) to those who can't read mandarin. this is a true story......

有一個美麗的小女孩，她的名字叫做佘艷，她有一雙亮晶晶的大眼睛，她有一顆透亮的童心。她是一個孤兒，她在這個世界上只活了8年，她留在這個世界上最後的話是“我來過我很乖”。她希望死在秋天，纖瘦的身體就像一朵花自然開謝的過程。在遍地黃花堆積，落葉空中旋舞時候，她會看見橫空遠行雁兒們。她自願放棄治療，把全世界華人捐給她的54萬元救命錢分成了7份，把生命當成希望的蛋糕分別給了7個正徘徊在生死線的小朋友。　　
there was small beautiful girl called 'she yan'. she had a pair of big eyes and she was very good-hearted. she was an orphan. her life was only 8-year long. the last words she left before she went away is 'i had come to this world, and i am good girl'. she wanted to leave the world in autumn, just like fading of a flower. she decided to give up the treatment, and divided the donation from people into 7 parts to those infected by the same disease and need the money for the treatment.

我自願放棄治療　　
she wrote, 'i myself want to give up the treatment'

她一出生就不知親生父母，她只有收養她的“爸爸”。　　
she never knows her real parents since she was born, she only knew her foster father.

1996年11月30日，那是當年農曆10月20日，因為“爸爸”佘仕友在永興鎮沈家衝一座小橋旁的草叢中發現被凍得奄奄一息的這個新生嬰兒時，發現她的胸口處插著一張小紙片，上面寫著：“10月20日晚上12點。”　　
on 30th Nov 1996, it was 20th of 10th month in lunar calender, a guy called 'she shi you' found a almost lifeless newly born baby girl in brushwood near to a bridge at the town. he found a small note on the chest of the baby.'20th, 10th month (lunar calender), 12am'.

家住四川省雙流縣三星鎮雲崖村二組的佘仕友當時30歲，因為家裏窮一直找不到對象，如果要收養這個孩子，恐怕就更沒人願意嫁進家門了。看著懷中小貓一樣嚶嚶哭泣的嬰兒，佘仕友幾次放下又抱起，轉身走又回頭，這個小生命已經渾身冰冷哭聲微弱，再沒人管只怕隨時就沒命了！咬咬牙，他再次抱起嬰兒，嘆了一口氣：“我吃什麼，你就跟我吃什麼吧。”　　
'she shi you' stayed in a town in szechuan. he was 30 years old and poor. he knew if he wanted to foster this kid, it would be hard for him to get a wife in the future. he vacillated for so long. he tried to walked away, but he went back to the baby at last. looked at the baby, the small weak baby. although he was poor, he chose to bring the baby back.

佘仕友給孩子取名叫佘艷，因為她是秋天豐收季節出生的孩子。單身漢當起了爸爸，沒有母乳，也買不起奶粉，就只好喂米湯，所以佘艷從小體弱多病，但是非常乖巧懂事。春去春又回，如同苦藤上的一朵小花，佘艷一天天長大了，出奇得聰明乖巧，鄉鄰都說撿來的娃娃智商高，都喜歡她。儘管從小就多病，在爸爸的擔驚受怕中，佘艷慢慢地長大了。　　
he named the baby as 'she yan' because she was born in autumn. since he was single, and he was poor, milk powder was unaffordable, he could only feed the baby with 'rice water'. Hence, 'she yan' was not healthy. Anyway, 'she yan' just gradually grew up, just like a small flower on the cliff. 'she yan' was a intelligent girl.

命苦的孩子的確不一般，從5歲起，她就懂得幫爸爸分擔家務，洗衣、煮飯、割草她樣樣做得好，她知道自己跟別家的孩子不一樣，別家的孩子有爸爸有媽媽，自己的家裏只有她和爸爸，這個家得靠她和爸爸一起來支撐，她要很乖很乖，不讓爸爸多一點點憂心生一點點氣。　　
'she yan' was very mature compared to other kids. she did houseworks like laundry, cooking, seeding etc since at the age of 5. she knew she was different with other kids. others have both mother and father and she had only a father. hence she wanted to share the father's work. she was very good, never let the father being worry of her.

上小學了，佘艷知道自己要好學上進要考第一名，不識字的爸爸在村裏也會臉上有光，她從沒讓爸爸失望過。她給爸爸唱歌，把學校裏發生的趣事一樣一樣講給爸爸聽，把獲得的每一朵小紅花仔仔細細貼在墻上，偶爾還會調皮地出道題目考倒爸爸……每當看到爸爸臉上的笑容，她會暗自滿足：“雖然不能像別的孩子一樣也有媽媽，但是能跟爸爸這樣快樂地生活下去，也很幸福了。”
then, 'she yan' went to school as normal children. she knew good results could make the father felt proud of her. she studied hard and obtained very good results. she sang many songs for father, told every small happenings in the school......she was very happy to see the laughters on the father's face. she said 'although i can't have a mum like what a normal kid would have, i am very happy to live with father!!'

2005年5月開始，她經常流鼻血。有一天早晨，佘艷正欲洗臉，突然發現一盆清水變得紅紅的，一看，是鼻子裏的血正向下滴，不管採用什麼措施，都止不住。實在沒辦法，佘仕友帶她去鄉衛生院打針，可小小的針眼也出血不止，她的腿上還出現大量“紅點點”，醫生說，“趕快到大醫院去看！”來到成都大醫院，可正值會診高峰，她排不上輪次。獨自坐在長椅上按住鼻子，鼻血像兩條線直往下掉，染紅了地板。他覺得不好意思，只好端起一個便盆接血，不到10分鐘，盆子裏的血就盛了一半。
since may 2005, 'she yan's nose bleeds quite frequently. one day morning, when she was cleaning her face as usual, she found that the water in the pot became fully red because of the blood coming out from her nose. the bleeding did not stop no matter what they did. hence, 'she shi you' brought her to the clinic in the clinic. the doctor tried to stop the bleeding using injection. however, the bleeding of the small puncture caused by the injection was even worse. there were flecks on her legs. doctor advised them to go to the hospital in the city (Cheng Du). there are a lot of patients in the hospital. she waited very long. her nose bleeded very badly and wetted the floor. she felt bad and then found a container. after 10 minutes, the blood was already half full.

醫生見狀，連忙帶孩子去檢查。檢查後，醫生馬上給他開了病危通知單。他得了“急性白血病”！　　
a doctor passed by saw it and quickly brought her for a check-up. after that, the doctor said she had severe leucocythemia.

這種病的醫療費是非常昂貴的，費用一般需要30萬元！佘仕友懵了。看著病床上的女兒，他沒法想太多，他只有一個念頭：救女兒！借遍了親戚朋友，東拼西湊的錢不過杯水車薪，距離30萬實在太遠，他決定賣掉家裏唯一還能換錢的土坯房。可是因為房子太過破舊，一時找不到買主。　　
the treatment would be very costly. normally, it needs 300 thousands (ren min bi). the father was poor. he just go everywhere to borror money. but it was too little. he decided to sell the old
house. and it was hard to find the buyer because the house was too bad-conditioned.

看著父親那雙憂鬱的眼睛和日漸消瘦的臉，佘艷總有一種酸楚的感覺。一次，佘艷拉著爸爸的手，話還未出口眼淚卻冒了出來：“爸爸，我想死……”　　
looking at the tired and thining father, 'she yan' felt very sad. once, she told the father ' daddy, i want to die'......followed by tears.....

父親一雙驚愕的眼睛看著她：“你才8歲，為啥要死？”　
the father was surprised. he said ' you are just 8 year old, why do you want to give up?'

“我是撿來的娃娃，大家都說我命賤，害不起這病，讓我出院吧……”
'i am just a kid you found in brushwood. i was fated to have hard life. just let me leave this hospital......'

6月18日，8歲的佘艷代替不識字的爸爸，在自己的病歷本上一筆一畫地簽字：“自願放棄對佘艷的治療。”　　
18th june, 'she yan' helped the illiterate father to write that 'give up the treatment to she yan'.

當天回家後，從小到大沒有跟爸爸提過任何要求的佘艷，這時向爸爸提出兩個要求：她想穿一件新衣服，再照一張相片，她對爸爸解釋說：“以後我不在了，如果你想我了，就可以看看照片上的我。”　　
after going back, the 8-year old girl had 2 requests to the father (she never has any request to the father before). she wanted a new clothes and wanted to take a photo. she explained to the father that the father can look at the picture when she had gone away.

第二天，爸爸叫上姑姑陪著佘艷來到鎮上，花30元給佘艷買了兩套新衣服，佘艷自己選了一套粉紅色的短袖短褲，姑姑給她選了一套白色紅點的裙子，她試穿上身就捨不得脫下來。三人來到照相館，佘艷穿著粉紅色的新衣服，雙手比著V字手勢，努力地微笑，最後還是忍不住掉下淚來。　　
the following day, the father asked his sister to help 'she yan' to get 2 pair of new clother. 'she yan' had chosen a red short-sleeved blouse and a red short. the aunty had bought her anothr red-dotted white skirt. then, 3 of them went to photography shop. 'she yan' was wearing the new clothes and tried so hard to smile. anyway, she just could not hold the tears.

她已經不能上學了，她長時間背著書包站在村前的小路上，目光總是濕漉漉的。　　
she could not go to school anymore. she took her bag, standing on the road that she normally walked to the school, her tears were full in her eyes.

如果不是《成都晚報》的一個叫傅艷的記者，佘艷將像一片悄然滑落的樹葉一樣，靜靜地從風中飄下來。記者阿姨從醫院方面得知了情況，寫了一篇報道，詳盡敘說佘艷的故事。旋即，《8歲女孩乖巧安排後事》的故事在蓉城傳開了，成都被感動了，互聯網也被感動了，無數市民為這位可憐的女孩心痛不已，從成都到全國乃至全世界，現實世界與互聯網空間聯動，所有愛心人士開始為這個弱小的生命捐款，“和諧社會”成為每個人心中的最強音。短短10天時間，來自全球華人捐助的善款就已經超過56萬元，手術費用足夠了，小佘艷的生命之火被大家的愛心再次點燃！宣佈募捐活動結束之後，仍然源源不斷收到全球各地的捐款。所有的錢都到位了，醫生也儘自己最大努力，一個接一個的治療難關也如願地一一闖過！大家沉著地微笑著等待成功的那一天！有網友如是寫道：“佘艷，我親愛的孩子！我希望你能健康的離開醫院；我祈禱你能順利的回到學校；我盼望你能平安的長大成人；我幻想我能高興的陪你出嫁。佘艷，我親愛的孩子……”　　
there was a reported from the 'cheng du press' called 'fu yan' knowing this story from the chengdu hospital. she wrote an article about it and then this story spreaded out. everyone was deeply touched and started raising the fund for 'she yan'. after 10 days, the donation reached 560 thousands. 'she yan' had another ray of hope to survive. everyone encouraged her, supported her via letters and donations. everyone sents their best wishes.

6月21日，放棄治療回家等待死神的佘艷被重新接到成都，住進了市兒童醫院。錢有了，卑微的生命有了延續下去的希望和理由。　　
21, june, 'she yan' was sent back to the cheng du hospital of children.

佘艷接受了難以忍受的化療。玻璃門內，佘艷躺在病床上輸液，床頭旁邊放著一把椅子，椅子上放一個塑膠盆，她不時要側身嘔吐。小女孩的堅強令所有人吃驚。她的主治醫生徐鳴介紹，化療階段胃腸道反應強烈，佘艷剛開始時經常一吐就是大半盆，可她“連吭都沒吭一聲”。剛入院時做骨髓穿刺檢查，針頭從胸骨刺入，她“沒哭，沒叫，眼淚都沒流，動都不動一下”。　　
'she yan' received the horrible and painful treatment. doctor xu was her doctor and she knew who suffering and painful can the patient feel. she never cries, never screams, never struggles even the doctor was trying to get bone marrow sample from her chest. her stiffness can never be found from other kids.

佘艷從出生到死亡，沒有得到一絲母愛的關照。當徐鳴醫生提出：“佘艷，給我當女兒吧！”佘艷眼睛一閃，淚珠兒一下就涌了出來。第二天，當徐鳴醫生來到她床前的時候，佘艷竟羞羞答答地叫了一聲：“徐媽媽。”徐鳴開始一愣，繼而笑逐顏開，甜甜地回了一聲：“女兒乖。”　　
'she yan' never has a mum. one day. doctor xu was very touched looking at her and said 'she yan, can you be my daughter'. 'she yan' cried when she heard it. the second day, when doctor xu went to her bed as usual, she called the her 'xu mama'. doctor xu was stupified at first followed by a big smile. then, she said, 'good daughter' .

所有的人都期待奇跡發生，所有的人都在盼望佘艷重生的那一刻。很多市民來到醫院看望佘艷，網上很多網民都在問候這位可憐的孩子，她的生命讓陌生的世界撒滿了光明。　　
everyone was waiting for miracle, waiting for the moment when 'she yan' was fully recovered. many people went to visit her. she was not fighting with the disease alone.　　

兩個月化療，佘艷陸續闖過了9次“鬼門關”，感染性休克、敗血症、溶血、消化道大出血……每次都逢凶化吉。由省內甚至國內權威兒童血液病專家共同會診確定的化療方案，效果很好，“白血病”本身已經被完全控制了！所有人都在企盼著佘艷康復的好消息。　　
in 2 months, 'she yan' almost went away 9 times due to infective shock, blood poisoning, hemolysis, inner bleeding. after a lot of effort, there is a slight improvement.

但是，化療藥物使用後可能引起的並發癥非常可怕。而與別的很多白血病孩子比較，佘艷的體質差很多。經此手術後她的體質更差了。　　
anyway, 'she yan' had become weaker and some unexpected syndromes were observed.

佘艷從枕頭下摸出一個數學作業本，遞給傅艷：“阿姨，這是我的遺書……”　　
one day, 'she yan' suddenly took out her mathematic workbook and passed it to 'fu yan' (the good-hearted reporter) saying that it was her 'testament'

傅艷大驚，連忙打開一看，果然是小佘艷安排的後事。這是一個年僅8歲的垂危孩子，趴在病床上用鉛筆寫了三頁紙的《遺書》。由於孩子太小，有些字還不會寫，且有個別錯別字。看得出整篇文章並不是一氣呵成寫完的，分成了六段。開頭是“傅艷阿姨”，結尾是“傅艷阿姨再見”，整篇文章“傅艷阿姨”或“傅阿姨” 共出現7次，還有9次簡稱記者為“阿姨”。這16個稱呼後面，全部是關於她離世後的“拜託”，以及她想通過記者向全社會關心她的人表達“感謝”與“再見”。　　
'fu yan' was surprised. she opened the book and 'she yan' really wrote her 'testament' which is 3-page long in it.

“阿姨再見，我們在夢中見。傅艷阿姨，我爸爸房子要垮了。爸爸不要生氣，不要跳樓。傅阿姨你要看好我爸爸。阿姨，醫我的錢給我們學校一點點，多謝阿姨給紅十字會會長說。我死後，把剩下的錢給那些和我一樣病的人，讓他們的病好起來……”　　
'fu-yan aunty, goodbye, let's meet again in dream. aunty, my father's house is too old and may collapse. tell daddy don't be angry, and don't commit suicide. aunty, please take care of my father. aunty, give part of the donation to my school, please help me to tell the chairman of Red Cross. after i go away, please use the leftover of the donation to help those have the same disease as mine. please cure them.'

這封遺書，讓傅艷看得淚流滿面，泣不成聲。　　
this 'testament' made 'fu-yan' cry.

8月22日，由於消化道出血，幾乎一個月不能吃東西而靠輸液支撐的佘艷，第一次“偷吃東西”，她掰了一塊方便麵塞進嘴裏。很快消化道出血加重，醫生護士緊急給她輸血、輸液……看著佘艷腹痛難忍、痛苦不堪的樣子，醫生護士都哭了，大家都願意幫她分擔痛苦，可是，想盡各種辦法還是無濟於事。　　
22th august, due to bleeding of the alimentary canal, 'she yan' cannot eat anything. she secretly ate a small piece of 'dried noodle'. then, the bleeding was worsen very badly and quickly. all the medical staff were worry. the doctor rapidly did blood transfusion. she yan's stomach is horribly painful. all the doctors and nurses were crying looking at her suffering face.

8歲的小佘艷終於遠離病魔的摧殘，安詳離去。　　
finally, she went away quietly.

所有人都無法接受這個事實：那個美麗如詩、純凈如水的“小仙女”真的去了另一個世界嗎？記者傅艷撫摸著佘艷漸漸冰冷的小臉，泣不成聲，再也不能叫他阿姨了，再也不能笑出聲來了……　　四川線上，網易等網站沉浸在淚海裏，互聯網被淚水打濕透了，“心痛到不能呼吸”。每個網站的消息帖子下面都有上萬條跟帖，花圈如山，悼詞似海，一位中年男士喃喃低語：“孩子，你本來就是天上的小天使，張開小翅膀，乖乖地飛吧……” 8月26日，她的葬禮在小雨中舉行，成都市東郊殯儀館火化大廳內外站滿了熱淚盈眶的市民。他們都是8歲女孩佘艷素不相識的“爸爸媽媽”。為了讓這個一齣生就被遺棄、患白血病後自願放棄自己的女孩，最後離去時不至於太孤單，來自四面八方的“爸爸媽媽們”默默地冒雨前來送行。　　
everyone was surprised! the good girl had gone away? everyone was sad. 26th august, her funeral was held. many people attended although that was a rainy day.

她墓地有她一張笑吟吟的照片，碑文正面上方寫著：“我來過，我很乖(1996.11.30.--2005.8.22)”　　
on her grave, 'i had come to this beautiful world, i am a good girl' was carved.

我知道我的英文有多糟糕,但是我希望大家能看到这一篇,知道自己有多么的幸福. 幸福不是必然的,请好好珍惜.
i know how horrible and poor my english is, but i hoped everyone can read it. it is meaningful. do you know how fortunate and blessed you are?

懦弱的肥鹜----sheepish fatty 'wild duck'

2007-04-06T03:21:00.000-07:00

肥鹜今天又胡思乱想来啦！
firstly, i want to explain what ‘鹜’（pronouns as 'wu') is to those who cannot read mandarin. ‘鹜’is a kind of wild duck that always look at the sky, dreaming that it can fly up high. However, it will never reach high or go far because it does not have the ability to fly up high. I am just like a ‘鹜’, not just a normal ‘鹜’, but a big fatty ‘鹜’, the wings can never balance the weight and therefore i can only look at the sky alone all the time.

突然觉得自己是很懦弱的！懦弱......遇到很多事情，我总是没有面对的勇气！当犹豫不决时，我都会选择了当缩头乌龟！我不知道这是优点还是缺点。缩头乌龟，好听的话，是一直以来，都太过顾及身边的人的感受，纵使只是小决定，自己都会深怕这做了什么不能满意大家的决定，仿佛忘了世界上是不可能两全其美的。也许是自己太过纤细了吧！
I am so 'sheepish'. I am so indecisive. And, i always try to escape. I don't know it is good or bad. Maybe it is because i am too care about others' feelings or how others think about it. Even a small incident, i am so afraid of making a decision that will make anyone unhappy. I almost forget nothing is perfect in this world.

在‘花样少男少女’里头听见很有意思的一句话~~有时候，逃避比做错决定还要糟！这句话，很对。但是真的是很不容易的，因为四周围有太多要考虑的因素了。自己永远都不是活在单独的世界里头，什么东西仿佛都会影响到别人。是这样么？还是那是为自己懦弱最好的辩解？
In Hana Kimi, there is a meaningful quote, ' sometimes, trying to escape is even worse than making a wrong decision!' It is quite true. But, it is hard for me to face it. There are many factors affecting my decision. Every action and decision will also affects one's feeling and thinking. Is it just an excuse for myself?

烦恼啊！为什么自己是那么的神经质？如果能将这些莫名的神经质转移到体能上的灵敏度，我就会开心多了！
Why am I so sensitive? If my mental sensitivity can be tranferred to be physical sensitivity, then I think i will be happier.

肥鹜，希望有一天，你能变的强悍一点，变得果断，不需要在这样懦弱！
fatty wild duck, hopefully one day, you will be stronger and decisive!

美丽的北欧！----beautiful northern europe

2007-03-30T13:43:00.000-07:00

一直以来都很想要到挪威和芬兰去看看，因为，觉得那里一定很漂亮很漂亮！那时，多希望能在那里过个美丽的、白茫茫一片的冬天。但是，都没有办到！还好，有一个朋友（在诺丁汉认识的一个四年级药剂系学长）越我们一块儿到丹麦（哥本哈根）和瑞典（斯托克翰摩和毛尔姆））去，终于，我们才有机会踏上斯堪德那维亚（不是很了解欧洲地理的人可以翻翻地图）。
今天，五晚的旅程回来了！
这一趟旅程应该用什么来形容呢？
1）不可思议：从没想想过自己能到这两个国度。
2）美！在海边的城市真得很美！
3）贵！生活指数超高！比英国还高！
4）累！不到一个星期要走完这些城市真不容易！
5）友善，这里的人英文很好，很友善，很亲切，很有礼貌！
6）不舍，因为太美了！

I always wish to go to finland and norway becase i know there are a lot of nice places with very nice scenery in these fabulous countries, especially winter. however, i can't make it. Anyway, there is a friend (a 4th yr pharmacy senior) inviting us to join the trip to sweden (stockholm and malmo) and denmark (copenhagen). It gives me the chance to go to scandivian countries (please refer to world map). This trip is:
1) incredible, i have thought of i will be to these 2 countries
2) beautiful! the city nextto the sea is really amazing
3) expensive, the livig cost there is serioly costly, even hgher than the UK
4) tiring, visiting these places for less than a week is seriously packed.
5) friendly, people there speak english well and a very helpful to the tourists and they are very very polite.
6) i miss it so much, one day i will be there again!

第一天......
凌晨12点，搭巴士到伦敦去......
早上八点飞机......
到了斯托克翰摩大概是12点（调整了时差后），找找旅客询问中心去得到些资料，就去民宿去报到。那民宿很美很美很美！
自己煮了晚餐（意面）吃后，就去走走。走走之后就去鼎鼎有名的icebar(在一所叫nordic sea hotel里头用冰做成的小型酒吧！）实际上，在瑞典北部，每年冬天真得都会建有冰吧，夏天就会融掉，我们去的只是为旅客在首都设计的一间。

first day....
12am, we took bus to lonon stansted airport.
the flight departed at 8.00
reaching stockholm at 12.00 (after changing the time). went to tourist information centre to et sme information.
went to the hostel, which is seriously very impressive!
after dinner, we walked around and went to ice bar (built by ice in nordic sea hotel).

第二天
早上到处走走，去了两间博物馆。继续走啊走啊走！
嗯，到了傍晚六点就去搭邮轮，这是去芬兰一个偏远小岛（玛丽汉姆）的邮轮，可以让我们欣赏沿途美景。那晚还在船上吃了全程最豪华的斯堪德那维亚式海鲜自由餐！

2nd day
walked around. we went to 2 museums.
at 6pm, we boarded a cruise that brought us to marieham (a small island of finland). The scenery on the way is great. in the cruise, we have had our most luxurious dinne, scandivian seafood buffet.

第三天
早上，到达目的地，只有两个小时走走，就有上回船回去。这是个很美的小岛，很宁静的！
回到去，有时走来走去，看美美的城市、城堡。
晃到晚上，就去火车站搭火车到哥本哈根。（那是有床的火车）

3rd day
we reached marieham in te morning, and we had only 2 hours to walk aournd this small island which is very tranquil.
after, we went bck to stockholm and walked around to go to nobel museum.
at night, after dinner, we started our train journey to gt to copenhagen.

第四天
到了哥本哈根，也是用美一个字来形容！
用了一个多小时去找本来定好的民宿（这间有一点让人失望）。过后就去整个城市走！走了一整天。看雕像、博物馆。哥本哈根推行的脚车计划很成功（环保），我们看到的脚车不会比中国少。穿得西装笔挺的帅哥也踏脚车去上班，穿这优雅长裙的美女也是这样，爸爸妈妈也是在脚车前安置小箱子放着孩子来载孩子的！

4th day
copenhagen is beautiful too.
we used one hour to find the hostel that we have booked. (this oneis a bit disappointing). after, we walked around the city for the whole day. here, there are a lot people cycling. the guys and girls wearing very formal also cycle to the working offices. the parents also justput a box (a metallic one lah) to fetch their kids)

第五天
去了卡尔斯贝啤酒厂参观，就去买丹麦特色的传统制作的糖果。还有，丹麦的丹麦是烘制品（dannish pastry)真的很好吃！午餐后就再搭三十分钟的火车回到毛尔姆。晚上四周围走走。

5th day
we went to carlberg brewery. then we bought some traditional candy from the city. and you must remember that, you must have ried dnnish pastry if you go to denmark, it is a must!! after lunch, we took a 30-minute train to go back to malmo. at night we walked aournd.

第六天
一早去飞机场搭飞机......不舍，太美丽了！

6th day
we took off in the morning......goodbye,.....

那年......that year......

2007-03-08T15:36:00.000-08:00

那年我十三岁......
懵懂的我，渐渐为生命填颜色
刚进新学校，就有绯闻了（平萍无奇）......好笑！
那是自己真得很懵懂，有另一个常常等我到五点多放学的人......
我却还是很懵懂......
天真的日记本，有三个人满满的回忆
很多事发生
跟原本最好的朋友吵架......那时我们还有组过开心四人组(崩牙妹、猪脚醋、杰逊......）
还记得适耕庄之旅！
很多很多还有很多......

那年我十四岁
还是继续懵懂，不知别人对我的好
还让一个朋友一直以为我在占人家便宜......我那时真得不懂，不是有意去占人家的便宜的
我笨笨的
还有一个也是有一点笨笨（不是真的笨，只是有时候需要多买些理解文看看）转校来陪我一起笨
还有一个上一年转到我的班来的......
还有很多
六个人的组合，在草芦（紫薇、chocolate mousse、新月.......)

那年我十五岁，穿上蓝色制服
还是笨笨的
忙忙忙，盲盲盲......
都不知周遭发生的一切......
错过了初中毕业旅行

那年我十六岁
开始分道扬镳，也认识一班新朋友
为了我的第二个家而忙
时常在那个应该有很多乐音，确事实上有很多噪音的地方忙
生日那天，满满的礼物......满满的感动
但是，为了那个第二个家和蓝色制服，好累啊！

那年我十七岁，从新穿上白色制服
他生日的那一天，哭了
罗老师还来跟我讲了些话......让我有些恼
摩擦，让大家有一点陌生
似擦肩而过的路人
喜欢上一个人，却不曾告诉过她
做朋友还是比较好吧！反正知道他爱的一定不会是我
那一年，才发现有一个朋友住得很近我家......

那年我十八岁了，
要为未来憧憬的同时
发现，自己......
我开始在高三理一活跃
真挚......唯一的形容词
很开心、很愉快、很享受！
半年内，多了很多很多很多很多很棒很棒很棒的朋友。
常常还为朋友的感情事烦恼......‘叶子的离去，是风的追求，还是树的不挽留’
她呢？还是有一点陌生。有一种刘若英的‘听说’里头所讲的感觉和情节......
我给你burn的那片cd，还有在么？

那一天，全班稀里哗啦！
怀念啊！
准备教师节、大家做三文治、备考、langkawi、genting、lanjut、pangkor......

十九岁，
大家都有了新环境
夜归人，mamak、吃冰......
不能抛弃那承载着满满的感动的过去......
生日那天，又是满满的感动。
谢谢诚楷妈大方的借地方给我们

二十岁......
二十一岁......

我都很感动......
生命需要感动......

我不知不觉地走到来二十一岁了......
一路来，都很感动！
真的感动！
谢谢那些曾经给我带来过感动的人！

推荐：‘几米的《照相本子》’

活在当下！-- carpe diem!!

2007-03-02T12:55:00.000-08:00

今天我二十一岁又两天，感觉终于比较醒过来了。
today, i am twenty-one-year-and-two-day old. feeling better today.

首先，先谢谢大家的关照，谢谢所有电话、信息的祝福，还有为我大大庆祝一番的朋友们！我很开心、很感动。
firstly, thanks for the 'caringness' of my friends. thanks for the the wishes from phone, sms and those who put a lot of effort and time to celebrate it for me. i appreciate it a lot!

为什么说我自己比较醒过来了呢？嗯，以为，大概两个月都浑浑噩噩的！
why do i say i feel better today? erm......simply because i was quite blue for the past 2 months without any reason.

今天，仿佛比较好了一些。有一个人跟我讲了依据拉丁语'carpe diem'，那个人告诉我说，他的意思是'live the moment'。我从维基百科找到他的翻译是'seize the day'（这让我想起在高中时起看到的一部有罗比威廉斯的感动电影'dead poet's society'）。翻译得很相似。对，就是活在当下。
there is a guy telling me a latin phrase 'carpe diem'. he told me, it means 'live the moment'. what i found in the wikipedia for its transilation is 'seize the day'.(it recalled me about a touching movie starring on Robbie Williams (it is not a comedy) 'dead poet's society' which i watched during school time, strongly recommended!)

二十一岁了，青春会来得很快，也会去得很快！所以我要珍惜青春。有很多东西在青春的时候才能做，有很多东西只有在年轻的时候才有那种干劲去做、有勇气去做，因为年少无知嘛！
time is flying. we are growing older and older, we must not let our youth being blank! youth, an important period for everyone, the period that we have the courage to make many things happen. once it goes away, it won't be back!

今天，听到一个朋友，决定退出我们一直以来都很憧憬的欧洲夏日背包之旅。我听到的时候，样子挺若无其事，但是却愣了一下。老实说，这在很大的程度上打击了我去旅行的士气，甚至想过不要去，毕竟他时常是我们去旅行的核心人物）。
today, a friend told me she wants to withdraw from our plan -summer backpacking in the continental europe. i acted like nothing, in fact i was stupefied. frankly, at that moment, it discourages me from continuing the planing of the trip, i even think of cancelling it. it is because she always play a very important role in our trip.

他说是有原因的，一个连他自己都不知道的原因。我想她是知道的，只是他不想说（因为她是那种很抗拒被帮助的人，所以他才不说，我想大概是这个原因）。朋友，有时候的关心是问，有时候的关心是不问。所以我选择了不问。所以，我会只是当作，他太想念马来西亚的豆腐了，所以才迫不及待的回马来西亚去！一定是这样了，哈哈哈！
she said there is a reason of this decision, but it is a reason that even she also does not really know. i think actually she knows it. just, she does not feel like telling. it is because she is always quite reluctant to be helped. so, she chooses not to tell. i am not sure, but i think i should be. friend, sometimes asking shows 'caringness', but sometimes, 'not asking' is another kind of 'caringness'. thus, i decided not to ask. i will just think in the way that you can't wait too long for the taufu. it must be the reason, hahaha!

最后我决定，无论如何，无论用什么方式，多辛苦都好，我都会去的。毕竟，二十一岁也就只有一次，敢这样浪迹天涯，大概也就只有这个年龄才敢吧！机会，溜走了，他不会再对我留恋，只会跟我说拜拜，永远不会再见！所以，欧洲，等我，我会来的！
anyway, finally, i decided, no matter what happens or how difficult will it be, europe must wait for me. the age of 21 only last for 365 days. travelling like a drifter, i think the age of 21 is a good age to do so. once the chance goes away, it won't come back.

嗯，活在当下，就像古巨基的歌一样，‘爱得太迟’。这首歌里头是有特别含义和映照着一个人的故事的。#有一个人在母亲当天，买了一份母亲节礼物，上班后就赶回家，连衣服都还没换就送给了妈妈。他的妈妈还笑他心迹，说洗了澡才拆。结果他等阿等，妈妈在里头很久都还没有出来。他妈妈在浴室里头中风了，送到医院还是太迟了。他从医院回到家，看到桌上还没拆的礼物，肝肠寸断。#对，很多事情，并不需要等什么特别的季节，不需要什么特别的气氛，不需要特别的时候。等，不要等。现在能做，就去做！
erm.......seize the day. just like the leo koo's song 'too late to love' or 'oi de tai qi'. this is a meaningful song. it tells a story of a man. # on mother's day, a guy bought his mum a present. after working, he went back. after entering the house, he passed the present to his mum. his mum laughed at his impatience. his mum said that she will unwrapp it after taking bath. however, the mum was in the bathroom for very long. due to stroke, she was sent to the hospital. however, she passed away at last. when this guy went back to his house from the hospital, staring at the unwrapped present, he cried very very very sadly.#friend, don't wait. many things, we do not need to wait for special ocassion! just do it! don't wait!

今天不知明天事，seize the day！给爸爸妈妈、亲人、情人、朋友大大声地说爱！当然，不只是说爱，好好地过每一天。
tomorrow or future is unpredictable. seize the day. treasure eveyday you have. tell your parents, relatives, lover, friends that you love them. don't wait, the chance is not always there. tell them when they are still breathing!

谢谢--special thanks to

2007-02-27T18:02:00.000-08:00

again, i have my face smashed for my birthday (in fact, my face get smashed roughly 150 minutes before my birthday). anyway, millions thanks to my friends.
i like the cakes, cards, condoms, candles, lemon pie and bag!!! obviously, i am not surprised, but i am touched and happy. as what my brother told me, i am always surrounded by many 'angels', and you are the angels, yes, you, the one reading my blog now!
i do not want to mention the names, because not only those who celebrate with me i want to thank to, but also those friends in malaysia. i appreciate every effort and wishes from everyone!
finally, sorry to pekwee for opening your fridge without your permission.

沉默的声音--the sound of silence

2007-02-24T14:56:00.000-08:00

这是一个西班牙人介绍给我听得歌，真得很好听。如果你问我有多好听，我会说，真的好听。
this is song that a spanish friend recommended to me. it is very nice. if you ask me how nice is it, i will answer you, it is really nice!

嗯，他的歌词，很有意思，但是，我仿佛却看不懂那是什么意思，但是，隐隐约约却感受到那些意思......
erm, it has very meaningful lyrics. in fact, i don't really understand it's meaning. but, i can feel it.

沉默的声音......很有意思的歌名。就像是只有自己听得见的声音。
the sound of silence......very meaningful title. it's like, a sound that can only be heard by myself.

Hello darkness, my old friend,
Ive come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
,And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dare
Disturb the sound of silence.

Fools said i, you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon God they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls.
And whisperd in the sounds of silence.

为什么美好的东西总是那么短暂的?--why can't every nice thing be eternal?

2007-02-20T08:53:00.000-08:00

虽然今天是年初三，但是心情并没有很好，不是说不好，只不过我那莫名奇妙的情绪又莫名其妙地发作了。因为我是双鱼座的。我很爱把我一切一切的不好都赖到我的星座上去。我在胡思乱想。
today is the 3rd day of chinese new year, but i do not have a good mood, not really too bad, but i think now i can't use any word to describe my feeling, it is just weird, and weird is te best word to describe me. and, i like to blame all my 'weirdness' to the fact that i am a pisces.

嗯，我太复杂了。
i just have too complicated feeling.

有人问我，为什么叫'一次现在永恒'？
there are somebody asking me, 'why you title it to be ONCE NOW ETERNITY'?

世界上有一句话很出名，‘不但求天长地久，只希望曾经拥有’。是这样的么？我不能，有很多东西，我都希望，能够厮守（这个词也许只适合用于爱情的长相厮守，但对于我，只要我爱的东西，我就爱不释手）一辈子的。这是种任性么？
there is a famous proverb in mandarin 'not necessary to be forever, as long as it does happen' (i think it is not a good transilation, but i think it gives the rough idea'). is it true? i doubt so. there are a lot of things, my hands just can't let them go easily. am i childish?

所以我很爱拍照，没有办法拥有一辈子的东西，就用相片永远留着。这就是‘一次现在永恒’。发生的美好、悲伤, 不需要很多次，只需要一次，就足以让你我变成现在的你我，渐渐在记忆中下了烙印，成了永恒。
therefore, i like photography. the things that i can't keep forever, i just snap it. every moment, every tear, every laughter, not necessarily happens many times, once is enough to make me ad you feel touched. that's why we re who we are now. gradually, the laughter and tear will never fade, becomes eternal. i think, this is the 'once now eternity'.

没有办法利用金钱拥有的东西，就牢牢的锁在脑子里。我哥的女朋友，有时看到很美但买不起的东西，就会牢牢地盯着那样东西，她说至少那美美的东西已经牢牢地锁在她的记忆里头。
the things that we can't use money to own it, i will try to lock it into my memory. as what my brother's girlfriend normally does, when she sees something beautiful with unaffordable price, she will just stare at the thing and try to lock it into her memory.

记得从马德里回来，有一种窒息的感觉，因为很思念那里。不是因为在那里三天就发生了感情，而是因为，直觉上，仿佛这一辈子都不再可能再回到去那个地方了，所以，觉得有一点悲哀。所以在旅途里头，我拍了很多很多照片，不只是用相机拍的，还有我的眼睛。
last christmas, when i just came back from madrid, i feel very very very upset. it is not because i love that place too much. just that, maybe, i won't have the chance to go to madrid again, so, i feel lightly upset. so, in the trip, i snap a lot, not only using my camera, but also my eyes.

所以，我没有很喜欢烟火。真的是太短暂了。那种瞬间消失的绚丽，真得很耀眼，但是随即的消失，会让我很沮丧。对，就是沮丧这个字眼，我现在的心情就是很沮丧。
that's why i don't like fireworks. that moment is just too short. it is really beautiful, very very beautiful, but it just disappear too fast.

哪一天，我也会很害怕离开诺丁汉这个地方，因为，不懂还有没有机会再来到这个地方，就算有，也不懂会是什么时候的事了。但是不用担心，我也很想念我的家乡，我很爱我的家乡，我一定会回去的。只是，马来西亚和诺丁汉足足相离了13000公里远。
one day, maybe i will feel upset leaving nottingham because i don't know if there is chance to travel here again in the future. even there is, it might be decades later. but, my family and friends, don't worry, i will definitely be back, i miss malaysia, i love the place where i was born. just that, nottingham and malaysia is 13000km apart.

只觉得自己在跟自己讲话，没有人能够感受我在感受的，正因为那样，所以我才会是我。大概就是这样吧！
i just feel like i am talking to myself. no one will know what my feeling is, that's why i am who i am and you are who you are now.

朋友，好好保护自己的眼睛，因为，眼睛，是用来感受感动和美丽的事物的。
friends, take care of your eyes. these enable you to feel every touching and beautiful moment.

过期 expire

2007-02-05T15:08:00.000-08:00

今天，看了前二十分钟的《重庆森林》，听到了金城武的一句对白，让我反复思量。
Today, I watched the beginning section of an old movie called 'ChungKing Express'. In the movie, there was a monolog by Takeshi Kaneshiro planted in my mind.

不知道什么时候，人为任何事物都给予了一个‘有效期’或‘此日期前最佳’的标签。罐头、避孕套、药物......任何用品、就连保鲜膜都有一个限期。
We almost forget, when we started to label everything with 'effective before', 'best before' or 'expiry date'. Canned food, condom, medicine......everything, even kitchen foil.

似乎，连情感这一回事，也因此而不能永垂不朽了。是么？
Does it mean even love, or any relationship is never eternal?

这是喜新厌旧么？
Is it because of we like new things instead of the old one?

我想是吧！
I think so!

Sorry, I know how poor my english is．　

茫然的肥鹜

2007-02-04T16:04:00.000-08:00

理想...什么是理想？
我不是很清楚。
理想是一种寄托么？
理想与现实的距离有多大呢？
记得，在‘地久天长’的这一套电影中，有血友病的男主角有‘子鹜’的这一个笔名。为什么叫子鹜？鹜是一种鸟，一种飞不高、飞不远的鸟，但总是仰望着天空，希望能飞得远远的。
这样讲的话，我就觉得自己是一只肥鹜。总爱仰望着天空，但是却没有力量去承载自己的重量，别说飞上天，就连飞到半途跌下来的机会都没有！突然间，觉得这样形容自己还挺可悲、挺好笑的。
嗯，什么是梦想？人真的会因梦想而伟大、而活得有意义么？但是，没有梦想的人就没有意义了么？很矛盾？
这个世界仿佛是一个绝望的世界。真的很想heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me......让人看不到未来的世界。
一个看不到未来的世界，我还可以那么乐观地去谈未来，谈理想么？生活，总是让人感受到那么的渺茫......
我想，我需要时间去想通想通。

永垂不朽

2007-02-03T01:43:00.000-08:00

以前，我总爱在一个朋友的手心上，写上‘永垂不朽’这四个字。

我很爱两首歌：

王菲的红豆

还没好好的感受雪花绽放的气候我们一起颤抖会更明白什么是温柔
还没跟你牵著手走过荒芜的沙丘可能从此以后学会珍惜天长和地久
有时候有时候我会相信一切有尽头相聚离开都有时候 没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候宁愿选择留恋不放手等到风景都看透也许你会陪我看细水长流
还没为你把红豆熬成缠绵的伤口然后一起分享会更明白相思的哀愁
还没好好的感受醒著亲吻的温柔可能在我左右你才追求孤独的自由

席琳狄翁德IMMORTALITY
So this is who I am, And this is all I know, And I must choose to live, For all that I can give,
The spark that makes the power grow
And I will stand for my dream if I can, Symbol of my faith in who I am, But you are my only,
And I must follow on the road that lies ahead, And I won't let my heart control my head,
But you are my only
And we don't say goodbye, And I know what I've got to be
Immortality，
I make my journey through eternity，I keep the memory of you and me inside
Fulfill your destiny, Is there within the child,
My storm will never end, My fate is on the wind, The king of hearts, the joker's wild,
But we don't say goodbye, I'll make them all remember me
Cos I have found a dream that must come true, Every ounce of me must see it though,
But you are my only
I'm sorry I don't have a role for love to play, Hand over my heart I'll find my way,
I will make them give to me
Immortality，
There is a vision and a fire in me，I keep the memory of you and me, inside
And we don't say goodbye， We don't say goodbye
With all my love for you，And what else we may do， We don't say, goodbye

听这些歌大概就是酸酸的。

逞强的倔强。有时候，我真的都知道，没有什么是永垂不朽的。但是，有时人就是会有飞蛾扑火的倔强，就是选择了留恋不放手。很傻吧，反正这就是一种无谓的坚持，还坚持些什么，只剩下两颗冰冻的眼泪。

但是，也许就是因为这种坚持吧，让只发生了一次的深刻，缠绕在每一天每一秒的现在，在灵魂中成了永恒。这就是：一次现在永恒 once now eternity

永垂不朽，什么东西又能这样呢？

坚持好么？还是只会沦为无谓的挣扎？我不知道。

曾经感动过的人，总会在夜阑人静时，默默地享受孤独的眼泪。你试过么？

大概会有人说，生命不在长短，而在意义。但是，老实说，我并不会欣赏烟花，因为，那只是一刹那光辉！当然，深刻的话，就会被锁进灵魂里，变成永恒！短暂的璀璨，换来的只会是过后的唏嘘，不是么？

我~莫名其妙

2007-02-02T15:08:00.000-08:00

内敛么？
抑郁么？
抑郁和内敛一样的么？
我不晓得！

我只知道，我是一个很保护自己的人！
我也知道，我是一个很缺乏自信的人！
我更知道，我是一个情绪很不安分的人！

不知道从什么时候开始，我开始喜欢用‘莫名其妙’来形容自己。没什么特别的原因，只因为这很贴切！

刚刚从一个朋友的部落格那里看到，关于‘时间’的东西。
突然想起爱因斯坦的相对论。
一个小时的快乐是短暂的，一分钟的痛苦是漫长的。
多么明白深刻。

什么是快乐，什么是悲哀？
谁可以告诉我？

蓝蓝的...蓝蓝的...蓝蓝的...

2007-02-02T07:18:00.000-08:00

每一年的开始，总是让我蓝蓝的...蓝蓝的...蓝蓝的...
一个月过去了......
但是还是蓝蓝的...蓝蓝的...蓝蓝的...

一次现在永恒
once now eternity
大概是吧！我想......

时间:第四度空间
悄悄地来，悄悄地走。
飞~~~
时间的飞行速度到底有多快呢？要怎样才能超越它呢？时光机，要在多少世纪后才会出现呢？

对于时间的诠释，还是万方最棒，没有办法忘怀。

时间仍然继续在走。
站在这里闭上眼睛
可以感觉时间仍然继续在走像一列无人驾驶的慢火车
16岁的我曾经以为时间是用来带我们去未来的
26岁的我曾经以为时间是用来让我忘记过去的
36岁的我慢慢发现时间只是时间而已
但因为世界上只有一个我一个你
每个人只有一次初吻只有一颗心
于是不想忘记的过去在时间中变得越来越有重量终成永恒
而想要拥有的未来如果不是因为还有时间又要怎么去相信去期待
我们都是时间的旅人
为了爱过的一个人听过的一首歌再也回不来的那一刻
赋予了时间永恒的定义
催眠我在时间的旅程之中
证明过去每一刻的我自己都像这一刻的自己一般
认真活过

是这样的么？我想是吧！

心情还是蓝蓝的...蓝蓝的...蓝蓝的...

大概会没有多少人知道我在写什么，那很正常，因为我也不懂自己在写什么。
不懂自己在写什么，是因为不懂自己在想什么。
因为，自十六岁那一年开始，每一年的开始，心情总是会蓝蓝的。

曾经，要自己捉紧时间，要自己努力的生活。但是，仿佛一切都......我不知该什么说,只觉得很多坚持都早已消失得无影无踪。

希望终有一天，我会找到自己的位置的。